Handshakes at Sunrise.

I'm more upset than pissed about this whole thing. I wish people understand when I say that I love animals. If there's nothing to do but stand around and serve people or whatever, I'd rather die or be a poor person.

Your "cold hard truth" does nothing to me. It just makes me want to prove to you that I can do this. I wished you understood, I prayed that you would be happy for me. Once again, you disappoint me. You don't understand me and the love I have for animals and you never will. I'm not doing this for the $7, I'm doing this because I just want to be around dogs.

You know, I might not take up this job if I have a dog at home. But because you selfishly don't want to get one, I have to resort to this. If you're reading this, I hope you know that I'm so upset I can't control my tears. It feels like a part of me died when you started telling me how "not worth it" it is. Nothing is worth it to you. Even if they pay me $5, I will still do it.

Understand that I'm doing this because this is the only job that allows me close proximity to an animal. I cannot emphasize how much this means to me. 10 years of frying my brains and an eternity more doing something I don't like.. I'd jump off a building in front of you, I swear.

I'm sick and tired of the ways that you want me to be.
Sick and tired of the shit you keep spitting.
I won't deny all the times that I wanted to leave.
But I can't cause I'd miss all your bitching at me.

And it started out so cool.
Can't stand what it turned into.

There's nothing more I want then to have your support in this. It really means alot to me. I say I don't care how people look at me, it's true, but I care how you look at me. I try to do things you like just to please you, but no matter how much I do, how hard I try, I just can't get you to tell me how proud you are of me. This isn't supposed to be how it's done. I'm not supposed to be too scared to tell you something, I'm not supposed to be making you love me. But I am. And it's pathetic and sad.

Is that hard for you to tell me you support me and that you're proud of me? I love you, I really do. I never hated you. I just didn't know how tiring loving someone is.