(two) You'll never know this.

Currently playing: In Dino Mil Mera - Life In A Metro
Mood: Happy

"Maybe we're too young and
I don't even know what's real."

I'm trying to multitask right now, again. So many things to do, so little time. Life's so hectic nowadays, haizxzxzxzxzxzx! /:

Haha okay, seems like I have to complain almost everyday. I think it's in-built in me already, oh my! O:

Went to meet J after swimming today. I'm sorry to see you in such a situation, but I'm not siding you. I'm not siding Jensen either. So what I'm trying to say is, I'm neutral. I'm a neutral party, bcuz I can't ever betray Jensen. Never. /:

See, I'm so nice to my braaaaaaaaadderrrrrrr right. Even though he's such an asshole. O:

I'm trying to complete my phrasebook entries right now, but I'm having difficulty concentrating. ):


You'll prolly never know this is about you, but still, I'm writing this just for the sake of writing it. Because in a way, this will make me feel better. I guess. Well, more like I hope so. I feel like a miserable shit. You've reduced me to such a state, and you probably don't even know.

Oh what am I talking about. Of course you don't know. You won't ever know, I'm so good at hiding my feelings, it scares me sometimes.

It's stupid, really. I don't even know how you've gotten etched so deep into my mind. So deep under my skin. Wait, I don't even know when it happened. And I'm not sure I care, because that doesn't seem really important right now.

What's important is, I can't get you out of my head. It's a goddamn invasion, alright. I hate this, because I know you don't think of me as much as I think of you.

I promised myself I'd never ever like someone who doesn't feel the same, didn't I? And guess what, I went to break it. Like I did with all the other promises I made to myself. Weak-willed, Shalini. You're so weak-willed, it's pathetic. I feel sad for you. I feel sad for myself. How funny.


My iTunes is in shuffle, and guess what song it's playing right now? Stolen, by Dashboard Confessional. Ironic, isn't it?


Sometimes I wonder why I'm so dumb. It's not as if I have no other guys liking me, but wow. I just had to fall for the one who probably doesn't even give a shit. I've always been like this. It's kind of twisted, really.

You're a hopeless case. No wait, I'm a hopeless case. But it's okay, I'll move on. Gradually, I will. I guess?


And then things will be back to normal, right? Please tell me everything will turn out fine, someone. Anyone.


I've never wanted anyone so bad. ):

Times like this, it makes me feel so tempted to come running back to you, A. But I can't, I won't. You deserve better. Better than to be a stand-in for someone else. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already did.

Thanks for your love, I really appreciate it. But I don't wanna be selfish and keep you hanging on when the truth is, we were over so long ago. Move on, S. Don't be an idiot like me. It sucks.

Okay. Time to fake indifference again. I'm so good at distancing myself from others when I put my mind to it. Dope right. /: